I’m white and therefore I have privilege. There, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Acknowledging it rather than denying it or getting defensive? As recent as less than a year ago, I was unable to do this. Then George Floyd was killed by police in my home state and I started to question everything about race. I finally started to get it.
Before, whenever the topic of white privilege came up, I would get angry and indignant. I clung to the same narrative that since I was the first person in my family to go to college we couldn’t possibly have been given a break. I thought acknowledging my privilege meant that I couldn’t also claim that it was my hard work that got me to where I am. Then, I finally understood that both realities can coexist and acknowledging one doesn’t automatically cancel out the other. Even though I worked hard to get where I am, I was also afforded benefits and opportunities because of being white. I think this is where so many white people get hung up and are unable to work through. And this is such an important first step that can’t by bypassed if we want to work towards racial equality and become a better ally to people of color.
Yes, my parents and grandparents worked incredibly hard to earn a living, to save, and to ensure a better life for me. But there it is in plain sight. Because my family is white, we never had to experience housing or job discrimination because of the color of our skin. Generations of wealth and home ownership are just some of the things that are the direct result of our white privilege. We did not have to overcome the same barriers that people of color have had to, particularly black people.
As a woman, I have experienced sexism my entire life, so I found it hard to acknowledge that I had an advantage over anyone. This was part of that old narrative that I had to shed. I started to question why I was able to so easily accept that men (specifically white men) have had a leg up on me but that I couldn’t see that I had a similar advantage over people of color. Again, I slowly came to understand that both truths are not mutually exclusive. There are layers of privilege. I have lost certain opportunities at the hands of male privilege, at the same time I have received other opportunities because of my privilege of being white.
These realizations I’ve come to find were right under my nose, I just couldn’t see them yet. After so many years of being on auto-pilot on issues of race, I started to seek out information and re-examine my limited perspective. I’ve learned to talk less and listen more, especially to people of color. This is not my stage.
I’ve had a racial reawakening and my work is just getting started. I’m sharing this with you not because I think I should be given a gold star but to encourage you to question your own narrative to see if it still holds water.
Now I want to hear your thoughts. If you’re a person of color, what did I get right or what did I get wrong? As a white person, where are you on this issue?
Hi! Thanks for the opportunity to have a conversation! I, too, am starved for it. The Facebook comments/discussions I think lead more to division that bringing people together. I believe what you are trying to do is create a safe space for individuals to make mistakes, maybe get it wrong at times but that it is all in the name of learning and growing together. In that light, my thoughts are that white privilege is real, we are segregated in Minnesota and Wisconsin and because of that we dot do life together which perpetuates segregation because we don’t understand or have first hand knowledge of the challenges and beauty of each other’s backgrounds. I also think that the needle has to swing far to gain attention. So, people may be put off by the term white privelege, defund police or black lives matter but that is because we need to pay attention and words help to peek ears and get people to listen. I think as white people we need to listen during this time and we need to acknowledge that there is a problem and then act (after we have thoroughly listened!). Over time, I feel there may be a time when people of color and white people them can swing the needle back a bit and have an honest conversation about how we are all working through this time but the emotions are too high to go there yet. This is a learning and healing time…and that takes time. I hope that made sense!
Oh, Laura, your comment is exactly why I started this blog. And you’re my first comment!! Yes, your comment makes complete sense. I love what you said about the needle (pendulum) swing in order to shake white people awake and then having it swing back a bit and that’s where we can talk more.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. If anything, I do want to provide a space where we can be vulnerable and learn from eachother. Ok, my toddler is waking up now, back to life…
This is the conversation we need to be having – and you speak truth regarding how difficult it has been, and will continue to be, for white Americans to accept that we have historic and current privilege, that has been allowed to compound, and today we benefit while so many people of color are disproportionately suffering. The result is a willful deafness in the ears of so many white people – especially in Minnesota and Wisconsin, where historically there are many more white people than people of color.
I think the best advice I have heard from my black and brown friends is to simply listen, and self-educate. Don’t expect people of color to explain everything to you – there are many, many resources out there. Utilize them. Learn and listen, and above all, be willing to confront your own bias, even if you think you “know.”
It’s going to be a long road – but I’m so happy to know the number of conversations are increasing:)
So glad you’re adding to the conversation, Kristina! I think that advice you received is the key. When white people can stop talking and learn to listen and seek out information that is where the racial awareness starts. It took me over 40 years to start to this process and even though I feel like a toddler learning to walk, my eyes are now open. Thank you again for your words:)